A beer followed by a sumptuous dinner, and end to an exciting IPL
match had already persuaded me enough to wrap up the day after a hard day at
office. Days were always hard at office not to mention here. So I carried
myself to the bed, the bed which has always been faithfully pulling up my body
weight, reluctantly or otherwise. I could never figure it out though.
It was always a mysterious thought for me whether a bed could
possibly trigger your emotions and feelings because whenever I was on bed, a
thought would always sprout out from nowhere. I would think hours, of things
that are irrelevant or relevant and up with a conclusion or not.
Counting theory, counting numbers, counting my savings and nothing
would prove helpful for a sound sleep. Hours I would change my position from
one geometric figure to another. But this day, I spirally fell deep into sleep,
thankfully, with very less effort. A few light years into the black holes and I
was in the world of dreams.
Like an iron man or a hulk, I landed on a stage already set in my
dreams. And it all started here and I had to play my role without even my
consent.
It was a place which I had seen it somewhere, somehow in my real
life. A long highway seeming no ends was accompanied with large set of
mustard fields on my opposite side and a huge gate followed by a stretch of
buildings on the other. It can be a college I once studied in or my office that
I hated. I stood confused as to where I saw it earlier. So I lit up a
cigarette. I do that when I am confused, not confused or void.
People started emerging out of nowhere. Rickshaws were a common
site by the time I puffed the golden fag. A group of guys and girls, with books
in their hands were almost a yard away from me and wait, they were almost
approaching me. With some permutations and combinations, I correlated them with
a few I saw on Facebook/Twitter though I never saw them in real life. That’s how most
of the virtual friends are, aren't they, and how it is supposed to be. It
was all so real.
A bright sunshine all over and soon their shadows overshadowed me.
Now they were a foot away and greeted me with smiles. And I recognized them
now. It was not my college not my office either. It was your college. And they
were “your friends”. Some I hated and some I disliked. “Your Friends”.
And now they were all over me and my existence. I smiled in return. A
round of questionnaire began with how’s and whereabouts. I answered them all
like an interview or a fake viva. But my sight was searching something else. It
was you and you were nowhere to be found. They asked, I smiled and replied.
There were smiles all around, fake or real, I couldn't guess. Time
started passing by, and still you were not in my sight. I panicked a little and
asked about you, and all I received was smiles as a gesture.
A sudden noise distracted the “interview”. It was the sound of the
college gate opening up, iron screeching against the mud. And it opened. All
looked towards it. A figure approached ahead and the sun followed. I could recognize that figure in thousands. It was “you” and my happiness
had no bounds. Even the highway felt a little shorter than it.
You wore a black overcoat over a pink tee and black slim fit jeans
to end it. And looked like an angel. Even the sunshine faded against the glow
on your face. So it has always been and only I knew it. But you didn't come
close. You stood at few meters length with some books in your hands and didn't
move. I stood there gazing at you, your face and your ‘kajal’. Hair tied so cleanly and conditioned. The world had lost its
meaning and now I wanted to run towards you and hug you for a lifetime. You sat in front of me and talked. As usual I
won’t speak much. I wanted to grab all those moments in my heart. I midst of
all your innocent talks I couldn't help in falling for you time and again.
Sometimes with the way you would smile, sometimes with the way you would lift
your hair, sometimes the way you would ask you endless questions and I would just smile.
Then suddenly you said that “someone” is waiting for you “somewhere”
so you would leave. I never asked who “someone” was there and you never told - knowingly
or just by chance, I would never know. As usual, I would hide all my emotions
behind the mask of that smile.
I did not want to let you go. But then I had no control over it.
So it has been always, in dreams or in reality. Things started vanishing
around me. Soon there were no rickshaws, no fields and no friends around. Only me
and you. You smiled and waved as you started moving back to the Iron Gate.
I had so much to say to you and so many words I wanted to listen but the medium
of sound wasn't there and all I shouted off was in vain. So I gave up finally, smiled and waved
you back.
Some drops of tears trickled down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them.
She couldn't sense my tears from that end nor was I able to figure out if she
was really happy or not. It was so important for me. I tried hard to look into
her eyes whether her eyes were also wet; I mean just a little bit maybe. Probably
I would never know because I couldn't see anything from where I stood or may be
she never wanted to let me know or probably she did not feel anything at all. She moved inside the Iron gate and it started
screeching against the mud again.
I was again all alone on the highway which had no ends and not
knowing what to do. So I lit up a cigarette again. Smoked in a hope that
somehow I might hide the reality in the smoke. But you guessed it right. I couldn't. And I could never.
I started walking on the
highway. Direction didn't matter. So did the purpose. I just moved forward with
no hope and no expectations. It was just all blank.
